Apr 062010

I know I have problems. I know that one of the vast array of annoying symptoms of my greater psychosis is simple paranoia. I get these flashes of thought like, “Man I shouldn’t have said that, now they totally think I’m gay.” or, JEEZE retard! Why did you just walk into this room, now everyone is staring.”

I know that these are rather common thought patterns. everyone has moments where they regret saying or doing things that were reckless… but my brain tends to take it to the next level. I start thinking I’m doing things or NOT doing things I should or shouldn’t do and I think I don’t REALIZE I’m doing or not doing these things because I’m not picking up on the sociological “hints” people give off… then I start to hyper analyze everything to the point that I start to see my OWN idiocies and I start to piss MYSELF off!!!

yeah… Just because I’m paranoid, doesn’t mean they aren’t out to be overly nice to my peanut buttered toast!

Aug 232009

I remember the spam days of “enlarge your pen1s” or “free cial1s”… that was when spam made sense, they are trying to sell you something. Usually just junk–but at least they had SOME method of extracting cash from you! Like professor Mumbai from Zimbabwe, or the rich prince from South Africa! They had a story to sell! it usually cost you the contents of your bank account, but hey! That’s spam!

These new spam bots… I don’t know… It’s like they just stopped caring, and just spam for the sake of spamming! DailyDFFR.net has had its host of Spam-bots, like flirtygirl420, and Littlevannessalikesboys. We had some good times with them! Remember when flirtygirl and littlevannessa got shoved into a chat room together? We all laughed when they repeatedly exchanged popup-riddled pron links… over and over… and over…

Remember the fun we had with Freeonlinegambler? he was a blast. I remember this one time; I set an auto filter to bounce his spam mail back at him. It was so funny to see him auto-reply to my auto-replies… it took 4 hours before the e-mail stopped… I guess those 3MB hotmail accounts get full pretty quick.


But these new Spambots… like xuji<phlem>hgt… yeah… I guess those Indian spam-bot builders have trouble spelling “bill”. And it’s no fun when they never reply to your e-mails… like the sweet old lady in Iraq with the fortune for me… she didn’t reply… after the twentieth response… I guess these scammers just aren’t as persistent as they used to be! Well, flirtygirl and Littlevannessa stopped spamming each other, the professor got shot in a mugging gone wrong, and the sweet little old lady in Iraq installed Norton antivirus and discovered she was actually a pimply faced teen boy in the UK… and freeonlinegambler apparently died of consumption. So I guess we’re stuck with the NEXT generation of spamming engines…

I miss the logic-less spambots… you know the ones… THEY could formulate a FUNCTIONAL popup-riddled spam link… what’s this “gogole.com” crap, and since when is “http://%;/casinoaddress…” a legitimate link?!? These spammers now a days have no idea how to gank someone’s credit accounts, nor how to PROPERLY infiltrate a bank account! I guess they just aren’t in it for the money anymore… but if that’s the case, what ARE they in it for?!? Have they managed to epically enlarge their pen1s’s to the point they cant reach the keyboard?!? Are they too doped out on cial1s they can’t type coherent sentences?!?

Boy, I miss the good old days.


Oh well.

 Posted by at 12:30 PM
Feb 152009

Ok, I know that likefood will be chomping at the bit to comment/rebuke this but PLEASE for the love of science read the entire post first.

It has been the subject of countless scientific debates, the center of endless science-fiction literature, and between them both it has single handedly been the leading cause of death for billions of trees (paper).

The Speed of Light.

Weather you are referring to actually building a craft that can do it or just trying to send an e-mail to grandma–circa the Pleiades–there is one constant speed limit that, thus far, cannot be broken. Why? Well now Timmy here’s your answer! The speed of light is NOT the universal speed limit (USL) that cannot be broken! in fact “the speed of light” (or TSOL) is actually BELOW the USL altogether! HOWEVER (and I use all caps on that one because this is huge) The actual speed of light (roughly 299,792,458 meters/s) is so close to the USL that the USL has been incorrectly labeled “the speed of light”.

Once upon a time I posed the following to likefood: If you were on a craft that somehow was able to travel at TSOL, and you turned on a flashlight and pointed it forward what would happen? Likefood–I suspect, simply having insufficient argument–declined a reply. Well I have the answer, and likefood it should have been your response. Once the flashlight was powered on, there would be a sudden bulb of light in front of the flashlight but that bulb would never become a beam and would in fact simply dissipate or reflect back into the face of the torch holder! You see it is NOT TSOL that prevents the light from moving beyond the vessel at equivalently faster speed, it is the USL that does!


Think of velocity (which is defined as the rate of change of position) as a ever shrinking value. If you are traveling at a given speed and you want to increase your speed you have to exert an increasing amount of energy to propel yourself that much faster. This equation involves three parts, your existing speed, your mass (or your overall weight and size), and the energy required to go faster. Well timmy, the closer to the USL you get the smaller you have to be in order to get closer to the USL. there is a very real and definable limit to how fast any object with measurable mass can go regardless of how fast the originating “push off point” was moving to begin with. So the USL tops out just under 300 million meters/s, the problem herin is simply that TSOL is NOT an unbreakable speed. In fact it not only can be done, it HAS been done! Just not with anything with mass!

So Timmy, what was the point of this little informational? To all you simple people out there reading your Issac Asimov books and star trek fanboys, please try to remember we are not trying to travel faster than light, that’s easy. We are trying to break the universal speed limit!

‘nough said… begone.

 Posted by at 10:41 AM
Oct 102008

In my life I have seen many arguements reguarding law and order in a “civilized world” and in all these debates there is always a sence that either noone wins, or the arguement is one-sided… I feel that the results are guided to a no-win end.

For instance; when debating gay marraige, everyone seems to prefer one of three groups:

Group one: Gays are bad people who have no rights and are nothing more than animals deserrving of no better treatment.

Group two: Gays are people too, only they are diferant and thus deserve more rights than the average citizen.

Group three: Who gives a rats flying fart?!?

Nearly every debate I have ever listened to ends up similarly devided, one group is heavily biased and bigoted, one group is overly zealous and bigoted, and one group just couldn’t care less.

Personally as far as homosexuals are conserned… I personally am a homophobe… I have met several proclaimed gay people in my life and frankly from the word go, I had a dislike for them. not that they are bad people, I just felt uncomfortable arround them and had this overwhelming urge to smear them in napalm and light a match. However; I think that even they would be supprised at my personal beliefs on the matter.

I feel that the world should be subject to three laws and ONLY three laws. These laws are divided into two parts for each law. the first part is the negative and the second is the positive. I think you will see what I mean in a moment.

The First Law: No human may perform an action nor inaction that may take away the freedoms of other humans. Likewise, every human is free to act in any manner they see fit, so long as they accept the responsibility for their own fortunes.

Example of Law One: If a man wishes to sleep with another man. both men are lawfully protected to do so, so long as both are inclined to do so. Likewise they may perform or participate in a ceremony that binds them together in partnership allowing them to share benefits such as shared Insurance, community properties, and shared financial accounts. Please note that other than the “sexual” component said “partnership” could be shared by anyone wishing to share or pool their resources. this could include roommates and siblings without the controversy.

The Second Law: Every human over the age of wisdom (18~23) is responsible for their own welfare and estate and shal take no dependent on another human, unless deemed by a fit majority to be unable to maintain themselves by reason of mental or physical defect. No man is required to contribute more than their fare share of their time to mankind, nor is any man to be forced to participate in any part of humanity beyond their obligatory share.

Examples for Law Two: An able bodied man or woman is required to have gainful employment to maintain their own welfare. If a person wishes to “live off the state” unless the majority of people that would have to shoulder their bill agree that they are fit to work in some manner. this law would all but eliminate “welfare” as almost everyone is capable is working in some manner. Just about the only people I can think of that are not capable of working in some manner are quadriplegic deaf-mutes, coma, and the aged with senility.

The Third Law: Every human over the age of wisdom (18~23) is required to contribute their opinion on any legal matter that directly affects them as individuals. Likewise any likeminded opinion that is shared by the majority must be respected, taken as law, and enforced by those in the policing field.

Example of Law Three: The only example I can come up with here sould be for political figures… which could, in theory, be removed with the proper implementation of law three.

Of course all three laws would generate a “perfect world” or “utopia” if fully implemented including the disolution of all forms of currency.

I know someone will pick at this post, Go ahead! I have retorts to your disagreements.

 Posted by at 12:21 PM
Sep 162008

Why do people insist on using the expression, “when life hands you lemons…”?

First off, Life never hands you anything. Life is like a deranged hobo living under the rail road bridge. If you’re unfortunate enough to walk by him, he hurls whatever he can get his hands on at you like a grenade.

And second,  lemons are not the life’s’ munition of choice. You see, life is more content to hurl out three week old salmonella riddled chicken heads, that splatter with a sickening thud against your face. A mucus laden spit-ball flung with such terrifying force as to stir up memories of the sixth grade bully… and dodge-ball… Splattering brain matter an dead chicken snot in your eyes and mouth.

And of course, not wanting to actually touch the mess of rotting flesh and rubbery bone matter–weakened through stewing in what can be only described as a broth of blood, faeces, and liquefied flesh matter–you end up standing there with an odd mixed expression of both horror and surprise, arms extended in a faux crucifix.

Ultimately you end up just standing there, mortified and somewhat curious where that muck-ball will end up as it slowly slides down your face, neck, and inevitably into your shirt–which incidentially is almost always both you favorite, and ironically, your last clean shirt.

The taste of the bits of muck that have somehow found purchase betwixt the bitter and sweet taste buds leaving you retching. It’s the taste of rotten eggs boiled in bird pooh and marinated dog urine.

And that’s when you finally take that fateful breath. You are forced to draw air through your nose, as you’re mouth is still suffering the offence of actually tasting the filth. Unfortunately your body has involuntarily been holding out on breathing until now, so that first breath is forced drawing not only air, but also the putrid stench of rotting flesh mixed with actual bits of congealed goo. This has a two pronged effect, There is a dual reaction between your lungs fighting to draw breath and your nasal passaged closing to stop the invading bits of carcase out of your air passages, causing you to snort. Of course this sudden snort forces that same invading chicken goo to travel further up your nose, and down the back of your throat finally resting on the backside of your uvula.

Of course, with every single sense of your being universally offended,  you vomit. Further adding to the mix of filth and muck and leaving you hopelessly defiled.

Eventually you will manage to regain enough composure to walk step after agonizing step back to your home, greadily lusting after a long hot shower… with bleach… However apon reaching your domicile, you are greeted with a red notice on your door… Your water has been turned off for building maintenance.

You see, there are no lemons available for life to hand. Only three week old salmonella riddled chicken heads.

 Posted by at 2:33 PM
Sep 142008

I cant express the sheer overwhelming stress and emotion I have been under the last few days… I can’t even explain WHY I’m stressed… all I can say is it keeps building and building with an end in I can only describe as pure panic.

Someone, please stop the world spinning, I wanna get off now.

 Posted by at 7:38 PM
Sep 042008

We are slaves, bound by our understanding of the world around us. As such we cannot progress from our sphere of existence until we understand the laws that govern it.

I came to this conclusion some time back, though I never really contemplated it untill this morning…

My realization is this:

When we left earth (Space exploration) we first had to have enough understanding of the laws of gravity to create a craft that could successfully escape it. To this end, dozens of men had to die, and still we the majority are bound to this world.

Like the prior example, if we want to leave this solar system, we must understand the laws that bind us here. Our understanding of space and gravity is only enough to bring us to near by celestial bodies–the moon, Venus, Mars, etc.– Before we can escape our Earthly prison, we must first gain a sufficient understanding of microgravity, spacial drift, spacial hold, thermal dynamics, and we must eventually realize faster than light travel.

Because of mankind’s penchant for greed and gluttony, any and all advancements to that end will ultimately be bent towards goals of empowerment though destruction.

All things in their place, this is the natural order. Thus mankind will remain bound, here–in our ever diminishing prison–forever.

 Posted by at 10:48 AM