May 222010

This article comes from me, a gamer.

I am not a professional gamer, nor am I an editor. I know my voice has little to no impact on the gaming industry as a whole. However; as a gamer, I am aware by comments made by my fellow gamers that the video game market place of today is full of production studios that are so out of touch with their own demographic that they might as well be peddling porn to the Amish.

Today’s rant is brought to you by: Bungie.

I remember yesteryear, playing my first halo with my good friend Renfeld. I loved–no, love (present tense) that game. I still sit for hours on campaign mode playing and re-playing my favorite levels. I’ll restart a level just because I want to play it through several times!

That game has a certain level of random violence mixed with just the right amount of playful rage it just makes me weep at how much fun I can have with it!

But then Bungie had to go and ruin everything…

Why, oh why did you ever make halo 2? why then did you go on to make halo 3 and ODST, and finally, what in god’s green earth were you thinking with multi-player?!? I have never played a game that inspires more rage and anger than the halo franchise POST halo 2. need evidence? go to I was a common lurker at HBO, back in the day when halo was known as Halo CE. I was there when Frogblast took us places that Bungie had never intended. I was there when the Easter eggs were finally cracked. I was there when the site died.

Sure there is still activity on HBO. the community is still running things like before, but that site had updates on an hourly basis. Now? you’re lucky if you get an update once a month. the side dynamics have changed significantly as well; there once was a playful hum to the community, now, a cynical psychopathy has grown in it’s place. where once the idea was to “team up” and “play together” has now become, “stab each other in the face” and “be alone wolf”.

The community is angry.

Last night I was talking about this with my friend–again Renfeld–and the suggestion to go back to halo was made… it was then I realized, I CAN’T go back! By changing the look of the Halo games from Halo CE to Halo 2 and eventually to what we see today, everything is different. The sound of the weapons, the visual effects, even the artillery physics are totally different from the games of years gone by. in short, re-learning to play Halo CE would be like Re-learning to poop on the toilet. So unpleasant, one would rather not even think about it.

Don’t get me wrong, Halo 2 was a great leap forward for the gaming industry. the developments in the engine, and gaming dynamics on the whole improved drastically, and these improvements have been mimicked in many, MANY other games since… so in a sence the Halo games AFTER Halo CE were massively superior… so what made things so bad AFTER Halo 2? After all the games looked, felt, and even reacted much better… why is it so bad? Because in Halo 2 Bungie began pitting the gamers against each other. Bungie told us we were enemies and we–gullible as we are–believed them. and every gaming studio in the world replicated their destructive anti-social rage educing model. Call of Duty, Counter Strike, they all fell suite and the model was born: Kill thy brother.

Behold: Multi-player.

In this image, We see, myself and another player (presumably Renfeld) moments before we sodomize another player with his own arm. While I will admit, it was rather fun to repeatedly corpse rape this random player, I will also admit that the ensuing rage inspired wanton destruction that he rained down upon us with his sniping buddies (he targeted me personally after this incident) made the rest of the game virtually unplayable.

While I do understand there are people out there that actually LIKE this sort of game-play and actually thrive in the toxic environment it engenders. I personally do not. And like me I know there are literally hundreds of thousands of gamers out there that likewise stopped playing halo when the rage quitting started affecting their personal lives. I also know Bungie took note of the mass exodus of players because not more than a year later, ODST was being made with “firefight”.

Now allow me a moment to explain firefight to you: you are put into a playing arena where enemy NPCs are dumped into your lap with the sole desire to end you. In concept this is much like the type of playing I do in Halo CE (repeating the same section of a level over and over because it’s fun) unfortunately firefight falls short.

In the game proper, it is possible to sneak up on the NPC by simply slowing your movement and coming up from behind. but for reasons I do not understand Bungie felt this was inappropriate in firefight. No, you see, in firefight, the NPCs are instantly aware of you, where you are, AND apparently what weapons you are carrying! no matter what, the moment you spawn, the enemy start to converge on your position. even if your position happens to be, say, inside a building with a metric butt-load of debris wedged into the doorway preventing you from escaping. Once they reach your position (trapped in hell), they will then proceed to toss their endless supply of grenades into the tiny crevasses between the crap preventing you from RUNNING AWAY. said grenades will subsequently kill you, you’ll re-spawn in the SAME FRIKIN’ SPOT where they will then proceed to repeatedly ass-rape you until you have no lives left. Thank you, Bungie for giving my enemy an unfair advantage (endless ammo, ESP, and perfect aim)

Frankly it’s multi-player… without the other players. I still rage quit, I still have no fun, and I still ask myself why I keep playing this horrible game?!?

Well, last night I rage quit for the last time. I am officially on boycott. Bungie, I will not play another game made by you until you stop screwing with me. Give me Forge for firefight, give me an unlimited ammo option in firefight, and/or give me BACK my spartan complete with radar in firefight. and drop this “health pack” and “stamina” bullshit. Do you have any idea how frustrating it is trying to snipe when you can’t see for crap through the red?!? replenishing shields or GTFO! the things you got RIGHT in Halo 2 and 3 You fucked RIGHT the fuck up in ODST, and the one thing you got right in ODST is no fun without the things you did for Halo 2 and 3! STOP DICKING WITH ME!

And as for all you other bad game makers (I’m looking right at you Rockstar) you’re on notice.

Thanks for reading.